Healing and Recovery

Sexual violence can have psychological, emotional, and physical effects on a survivor and each survivor will react in their own unique way. Some express their emotions while others prefer to keep their feelings inside. Some may tell others right away while others may wait weeks, months, or even years before sharing with anyone.

Some common emotional, psychological and physical reactions are listed below:

Depression is one of the most common reactions of rape and sexual assault that victims can experience. While it is normal for survivors to have feelings of sadness, unhappiness, and hopelessness, if these feelings extend for a period of time, it may be an indicator of depression. If these feelings begin to interfere with their daily life, survivors can often benefit from the help of a professional.

Flashbacks are when a survivor is experiencing memories of past traumas that feel as if they are taking place in the current moment. Survivors may feel like they are reliving the sexual violence all over again. and it may be difficult for them to connect with reality. These flashbacks may seem random at first until the survivor learns what their triggers are.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a Trauma and Stressor- Related disorder that can result from a traumatic event. Survivors may experience uncharacteristic feelings of stress, fear, anxiety, and nervousness. With PTSD, these feelings are extreme creating a constant sense of danger and may make it difficult to function in everyday life.

These effects aren’t always easy to deal with and the healing process may be difficult and lengthy in time. But with the right help and support, they can be managed and healing can occur. Please call the Union County Rape Crisis Center at (908) 233-7273 for more information and support.

Self-care after trauma isn’t about bubble baths or trying harder — it’s about caring for your nervous system. After sexual violence, the body’s built-in alarm system can stay switched on long after the danger has passed. The good news: there are simple, proven ways to help your body learn it’s safe again.

Your “window of tolerance”

Everyone has a zone where they can feel their feelings and still get through the day. Trauma can shrink that zone. Some days you may feel keyed up — anxious, racing thoughts, on edge. Other days you may feel shut down — numb, foggy, far away. Neither means anything is wrong with you; it’s your body trying to protect you. The practices below gently stretch that zone bigger over time.

Simple body-based practices

• Long, slow exhales — Breathe in for 6, out for 8. A longer out-breath is the fastest “we’re safe” message you can send your body. Try the guided version in “Take a Grounding Moment” above.
• Look around slowly (therapists call this “orienting”) — Turn your head and let your eyes drift around the room until they land on something pleasant or neutral. Rest your gaze there a moment. This tells the oldest part of your brain that the room is safe.
• Bring a comfort to mind (“resourcing”) — Picture a person, pet, place, or memory that brings even a small feeling of “okay.” Notice where you feel it in your body — warmth in your chest, a deeper breath — and stay with that feeling for about 30 seconds. You’re building a path back to calm that you can use anytime.
• The butterfly hug — Cross your arms over your chest, hands resting on opposite shoulders, and tap slowly: left, right, left, right. This gentle rhythm, borrowed from trauma therapy, helps the body settle.
• Hum, sing, or sigh — Sound vibrates the body’s main calming nerve. Legs up the wall, cool water on your wrists or face, and slow rocking soothe the same way — through the body, not the thinking mind.
• Small doses (“titration”) — Big feelings don’t have to be felt all at once. Touch the edge of a feeling, then step back to something comforting. Little by little is exactly how the body heals.

Collect “glimmers”

Glimmers are the opposite of triggers — tiny moments that feel safe or good: sun through a window, the first sip of coffee, a dog’s sigh. Noticing them on purpose, a few times a day, retrains your body to spot safety, not just danger.

Boundaries are self-care

Saying no. Leaving early. Muting an account. Not explaining yourself. Protecting your energy is part of healing — and after an experience where choice was taken away, every choice you make for yourself matters.

The basics, with kindness

Sleep, food, movement, and time with safe people are the soil everything else grows in. Aim for “gentle and steady,” not perfect. On hard days, the strongest practice is talking to yourself the way you’d talk to someone you love.

You don’t have to do it alone

Calm is contagious. Time with a steady friend, a support group, a counselor, even a pet helps your body settle — that’s not weakness, it’s how humans are built. If you’d like company in this work, our trauma-informed counselors are here: 908-233-7273.

Healing isn’t a straight line. A hard week after a good month isn’t a setback — it’s how recovery works.