If you found this page while searching for what to do after a sexual assault, or because something just happened to you or to someone you love, we want you to know one thing before anything else: you don’t have to do anything yet. You don’t have to have a plan. Reading this is enough for right now.
One of the hardest parts of the hours and days after a sexual assault is the feeling that there must be a correct list of steps, and that you’re already behind on it. There isn’t. There are options, all of them yours, and none of them disappear the moment you close this tab.
Our advocates answer 908-233-7273 every hour of every day. The call is free and confidential, and you don’t have to know what you want before you dial. If you’re wondering what that call is actually like, we wrote about it here: What Happens When You Call?
What to do after a sexual assault: start wherever you can
These are things that can help, in any order. None of them are required.
- Get somewhere you feel safe, whether that’s a friend’s kitchen, your car, or a locked bathroom.
- Call the hotline at 908-233-7273. An advocate can walk you through your options right then, without you having to decide anything else first.
- If you think you might want a forensic exam, try not to shower, change clothes, or brush your teeth beforehand, because that can preserve evidence in case you want it later. If you’ve already done any of those things, you can still get care and still get an exam. Nothing is ruled out.
- You can go to a hospital for medical care whether or not you ever speak with the police.
Calling and asking “what are my options?” is a complete first move. It’s the one many people start with.
Getting help does not require a police report
This surprises people, so we’ll say it plainly. Reporting to law enforcement is always your choice, not a condition of getting care. You can get medical treatment and never report. You can have a forensic exam done and decide later, sometimes much later, whether to involve police. You can report right away. Or you can talk to an advocate and choose none of the above for now.
An advocate can explain what each path actually involves, in plain terms, so you’re choosing with real information instead of guessing. If questions about your legal options are on your mind, our Legal Rights and Options page is a place to start, and so is our post on your rights as a survivor.
About the forensic exam, and how much time you have
In New Jersey, a forensic exam is often available up to 7 days after an assault, and sometimes up to 9 days depending on the situation. The nurses who do these exams are trained for exactly this, and an advocate can meet you at the hospital so you’re not walking in alone.
If more time than that has passed, please still call. There is still support, still someone to talk it through with, still options, even if a forensic exam is no longer one of them.
You won’t have to keep repeating your story
A fear we hear often is that getting help means telling the worst thing that ever happened to you over and over, to stranger after stranger. In Union County, a Sexual Assault Response Team, or SART, exists to prevent exactly that. It’s a coordinated group of medical staff, an advocate, and, only if you choose to involve them, law enforcement, working together so you aren’t starting from the beginning with each new person. Our advocates work alongside YWCA Union County and local hospitals as part of that response.
If it happened months or years ago, it still counts
A lot of people wait to reach out. Some wait weeks. Some wait decades. None of those are wrong ways to do it. Support is not limited to the first few days after something happens, and the hotline is not only for emergencies. You can call whenever you’re ready, whether that’s tonight or years from now.
Whenever you’re ready
You are not responsible for what happened to you. You don’t have to know what you want right now. Maybe today the step is saving this page, or telling one person you trust, or nothing at all. Every option above will still be open when you’re ready.
For a fuller guide, including clinic information and a printable safety plan you can build privately, visit our Immediate Help After Sexual Assault page. If you’re outside Union County or outside New Jersey, our Find the Right Help tool can point you to support near you. And if what you need most right now is someone to talk to about how you’re feeling, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is there by call or text.
Free, confidential support, 24 hours a day, every day: 908-233-7273.